Assumptions and Missed Opportunities

Late last night, I had an interesting conversation with a new friend. After the festivities of a Saturday night, the crowd dwindled and it was just the two of us, on kitchen bar stools trying to untangle my frustration from events that did not happen during the night. It was difficult to answer my friend’s opening question because, despite the amount of time that had passed, I had an answer I did not like. Regardless, he was gracious enough to offer honest insight and straightforward advice.

My friend advised me to seek the answers for myself as he feels that all I believe is based on information collected from third parties and based on my assumptions from observed actions.

It’s the possibility that there’s still room for interpretation and assumption that frustrates me. ‘Layers,’ so-to-speak. Despite another friend’s penchant for the binary of black and white, I’ve been finding my experience as an annoying gradient, with a swirly pattern in the middle, making things just a wee bit more difficult. It’s never been A=B, but A=B but sometimes also C, unless added with D and then multiplied with Y. There are no straight forward answers, no clean breaks, a lot of unanswered questions, and unexpected emotions that resurface and seep into my thoughts.

Right now I find myself struggling with how to alleviate this frustration. If I follow my friend’s advice, then I risk revisiting that awful sting I felt when I received confirmation of my suspicions. But, in turn, I will know for myself and then create possibilities of a different kind of relationship that isn’t defined by awkward constraints. I hesitate because I fear that this validation of what I already know will do nothing. What if we’re brave enough to peel away all the layers, put effort into dismantling our assumptions, decide to swallow our pride but find . . .nothing?

Interestingly, someone earlier in the evening mentioned the song this sketch was inspired by: Atoms for Peace, Thom Yorke

Atoms for Peace by Thom Yorke

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