Occupational Therapy

So, it’s been a little over three months since the job and I split. I know it’s the best for both parties, but I never anticipated it would be such a struggle to find another. Before the split I thought I had it figured out: I would put myself back on the market and sift through the possibilities. A position came along that was perfect. I was qualified, I had the right kind of experience, it was only for a year , which meant I could save up and then attend a 1 year program, and it was with a reputable company. I thought it would be easy, that things would just fall into place because I was brave enough to let go. To leave, to want more for myself. Full of enthusiasm and confidence, I applied. I was convinced I would get a call, asking me for an interview and knew that once they meet with me, they would see that I was the perfect candidate.

A week passed. Tumbleweeds.

Another week passed. Tumbleweeds.

Finally, a month later, I accepted that I wasn’t going to hear from them. But… I was qualified. I was what they were looking for TO A TEE with french fries as a side! How could they not even call?

Accepting the fact that I had been rejected, I continued onwards, but with a little less enthusiasm and confidence than before. There were many other jobs that piqued my interest, but none called. I would “take initiative” and call to inquire about the position, only to be told, the position has been filled or you’ll be contacted if we want to go ahead with your application.

Then I thought, maybe I’m not getting job offers because I still have a job. So if I tell the Universe and make space in my life for something else to come in, it will. It totally makes sense. It’s like science–physics, calculus or the quadratic formula…or something. How could I not have thought of it. Plus the job was just getting more ‘political’ and annoying. So, with this trusty new science formula, I handed in my resignation and in two weeks time I was going to be freeeeee!

The freedom was fun for about two weeks before I was reminded that finding a new job wouldn’t be easy. I still applied for jobs that sounded interesting, but none of them were ones I really wanted. And then one appeared for an athletic company with a corporate culture that I aligned with. Again, I diligently did my research, wrote my cover letter and told people about the possibility and how excited I was. I even did a mock interview with a friend I wanted it so bad. Weeks later, I felt the familiar sting of disappointment and rejection. It was only after a conversation with a friend in a similar situation that gave me perspective. In city of approx 2.37 million people, I could potentially be competing with approximately 1000 people, so it’s nothing personal, it’s just a numbers game.

After that, I went into numbers mode. No attachment, just applications and increasing my chances to get a call. I called on apathy to be my friend. Law of averages, right? Rejections rolled off my back. And then it happened. A call. From a place that I wanted. I collected my work samples, prepared for the interview like I would for an exam, rehearsing answers to questions, and reviewed their organization. The interview went well, but because of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, they were much busier than usual and would take time to get back to people. I left the interview with a renew sense of hope and pictured myself working there.I was qualified for the job and was excited about the different types of work I would be doing.I wasn’t sure if I would get the job, but I felt like I would at least get a second interview.

I didn’t get invited back for a second interview.

Now I’m here, feeling like I’m back at square one and a little bitter and unsure that I can find that job that fits. How hard can it be? “Find a job that I am excited about and that can also reciprocate.” Sure, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but only a few that you really want to catch but at the rate I’m going, I’m getting seasick and mind as well be fishing for a mermaid.

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